How NOT to Write an Email Promotion Message...

I opened his email because I like to know how famous consultants are marketing themselves. I was expecting some words of wisdom and maybe to pick up a nugget or two. But I got the following promotion message. See if you can understand what's wrong with it, then we can look at how to make an email promo message better:

From: [Name of Famous Best-Selling Author/Guru]
Subject: End of Year Reminder from "Famous Guru"

The discount for the 2009 teleconference series expires on December 31, so register NOW if you're interested in this very popular series at a huge discount:
[link]

There is a new XYZ program scheduled for Spring, only six people... two spots are already taken. Register on the earlier course site until the new one is up, this is brand new:
[link]

ABC scheduled, beginning to fill:
[link]

Last call for $0 to $300,000, turbo-charge the start of your year, four seats remain:
[link]

Have a happy, healthy, safe, and prosperous New Year.

You know what? I'm going to open this up to you readers to dissect. Give me 3 things you think are wrong with this from a marketing perspective. Tell me why you think this message falls flat, or isn't effective in getting people to take action, or in getting any kind of positive reaction.

Keep in mind this guy is really famous in his niche and has a large following of fans and then tell me if you think this has any bearing on the quality of the message. Personally, I think he should know better, or hire better people to write his email messages.

Comments

[patmcgraw]

First, no greeting. It would be nice to know that Famous Guru would take the extra 10 seconds and use an email program that could insert "Dear FirstName:"

Second, focusing on the discount and its time deadline [a] fails to address real, meaningful benefits as to why I should invest my money and time in the teleconference, and [b] sends off my BS Meter that the Famous Guru know the teleconference is worth less than originally priced and is only interested in filling seats rather than educating and sharing knowledge.

Third, too many offers. Sell me one thing. Focus on the benefits of that one thing to me (personalized, 1:1).

This laundry list of stuff has no clearly stated benefits and is more about the Famous Guru that it is about the recipient of the offer(s).

[Patsi aka The Blog Squad]

Bingo, Pat. Those are three big sins, in my marketing email promo handbook.

1. No greeting, nothing with my name
2. No reason given why this is important to me
3. Only give me one thing to think about at a time, otherwise too many choice, no action will be taken.

There are others, but clearly the biggest one is not addressing the needs or wants of the reader. What's in it for me?

[Linda Colgan]

ditto the other comments.
My first reaction was "so what! Why should I care?"
1-no time taken to greet me
2-too many links to too many programs to spend money on
3-no connection. If this was sent by someone I trusted and respected, I "might" be tempted to click on one of the links to see if I could find out why I should be interested.

[Monica McPherrin]

I think the mesage is more about what the author can get from his audience, not what he is doing (or helping) them with.
It's like a lineup of how you can help him make more money, thinly disgised as an urgent reminder.
I think if the intent was to wish his list a Happy New Year he should have done just that and in a seperate e-mail(s) sent reminders with a list of benefits and how the prospect would be helped by his various programs. he needs to shift the focus to "how may I serve you"? not how can you help me.

[ThriftyFred]

By choice, I get a lot of email offers. I even buy some of this stuff, but not much. The sample email in this blog would not get my attention for the following reasons:

1. A 6 person limit on a teleconference? That is an automatic turn off and would prompt me to hit the delete key.

2. The offer does not make any attempt to convince me that it is worth my time to read or money to buy.

3. $300,000 income potential? Sounds fishy to me because the copywriter does not know if I can speak English or do simple arithmetic.

[Carol Deckert]

Seems to me that "Famous Guru" is panicking and wanting to make sure seats are filled! Should have taken time to tell me why I should spend my money with him and how I would benefit instead of "hurry up and pay me" message sent!

Happy Netweaving,
Carol Deckert
Networking Coach
Follow me on Twitter @caroldeckert

[Dorothy]

Lesson learned: even if I think the people on my list have been following the emails and this is just a "reminder," I want to keep giving them the reasons to open and take action...